Poetry for Presentation

These are some of my poems that I have written within the last year. I've decided to use them as part of support for my final presentation...

Overboard

Swirling, whirling, winding
into an open sea,
on the dive down,
undergoing pieces of transparency.

Through every wave of every current,
this ship has sailed so far--
through whales of paintings, and writings, and workings
of an undergraduate star.

Generations of breaking binds,
sailing through their artists' scars,
reaching the dock, we come to find,
it's a part of who we are.

2011

"Just one of those days?"
Secretly asking,
mocking us
behind their
angelic,
scheming,
dragon eyes.

Just one of those days.
They are
stronger,
richer,
faster than us.

Just one of those days.
We must accept
that no one accepts us.

Just one of those days.
It tears at
our souls,
our minds,
our hearts.

Just one of those days.
HE wishes
will,
strength,
courage onto others.

Just one of those days.
Every picture in its frame,
falsified by shattered reality.

Just one of those days.
We fade into nothing,
not a dragon to notice.

Just one of those days.

2010

What is success?

Success can be something as small as achieving a personal goal, and as major as a career goal. Personally, I need to succeed in certain things in order to have a good life, according my standards. A family, fun career, my own house, and making a difference in life are all important aspects I wish to accomplish. I do not understand how people would not want to succeed in these areas because without them my life would be incomplete. Like, right now, my boyfriend and I are discussing moving in together and planning our future. Most young college students would not consider marriage at all, but that is one of the things I wish to accomplish within a few years. Different people have different preferences as to how they will succeed in their lifetime, and that is why we each lead independent and unique existences.

How to Tame a Wild Tongue

I agree with the quote, "Who is to say that robbing a people of its language is less violent than war?" The horrific act of war is same as oppressing a person of their individualism. When I think about the army, I think of how they are "broken" and are basically just pawns that the government can use to fight against their own human race. These two scenerios are both stripping people of their humanity, just in different ways. When people are not allowed to speak their own language, they are being deprived of where they came from and what human culture they feel they need to have. Over time, this would slowly conform them into the "Americanized" way of doing things. Whereas, the military does not allow their soldiers to have any opposing reason or thought, and when this happens, they slowly lose sight of the person they were before. Also, killing off innocent people is in the same realm as making an innocent culture lose their souls in a world where they cannot fully communicate with other people. In this way, they get lost and do not belong anywhere in the world because they are not accepted by anyone other than people who share the same struggle.
When Gloria talks about the usage of the word "nosotras," she is surprised by the mention of a female form. In present time, males call their cars and the like "she," representing their control and masculinity. When I hear this, I feel very offended. I thought we as a culture had grown and realized that women are not objects, but unfortunately, this suggests otherwise. As Dr. Cassel says in class, feminism is not about sexism against men; it is about "social equality" between sexes. This is a struggle that is still going on in countries such as Afganastan, where women must conceal their face because they are married. I just do not understand why we as females are willing to have this equality, but men cannot help but to be "superior" towards that idea and to us.

The definition of frustration...

...is excelling in something that you love (in my case, writing) and having one teacher constantly negatively critique your work, and having another teacher tell you that you are doing excellent and acing everything with flying colors. Even if it is an "increased level of writing," I think that it's absolutely ridiculous that if I turn in the same exact paper to each of my literature classes, one would love it and one would give me an 85 on it just because it is not on the lines of her thinking. If I cannot use examples by saying "As discussed," or "Readers recognize this because," and I can't say "I" in my writings, then how on the face of this wide world can I write a decent paper? Given that this is college and we are not writing by any professional means yet, there is no reason to count off for what is not popularly said. Also, it is NOT plagarism if I write something that was from lecture as long as I mention that it was from the discussions in class. The whole reason teachers talk about things in class is to give us a better understanding of the subject matter we are studying and to give us a new perspective that we can work with. I do not understand how I am writing at the same level in two closely-related 200 level literature classes and not receiving the same grades. That does not make sense in the slightest. I realize that writing is all about negative criticism, and we as writers must learn to accept that there are people who will not care for our work, but a teacher has an obligation to assist students to succeed by any means necessary, and most want them to succeed. In my eyes, there are bad teachers out there and they need to recognize that if everyone sees a similiar problem going on with their grade, that is the teacher's problem, NOT the students'. If a student is doing everything in his/her power to make sure his/her homework assignments are done right and on time, then that student has upheld her obligations to her college education. It is then up to the teacher to give that student credit for doing so, and giving the grade that he/she deserves. So apparently, "we are your cheerleaders" does not apply to this particular teacher. It is only up to the students because we are basically teaching ourselves in my Lit 230 class, and we are the ones who are actually holding the foundation of the classroom together. Just because a teacher has all these awards, certificates, and degrees does NOT make her any better than the students who are desperately trying to do well in college, so that they can have a successful future. A teacher that is constantly detering students from learning all that they can is not a teacher at all.

Personal is Political

I believe that you cannot avoid politics if poetry always possesses some kind of personal value. And it truly does. Diving into the Wreck symbolized Adrienne Rich's personal transformation, which was also of a political nature of gay marriage and gay/lesbian couples. Even Gertrude Stein, who said she wanted readers to look at the sound of words themselves rather than their meaning, was a personal and political writer. Because her poems were intensely related to Cubism and thoughts on the war, they had a deeper meaning than merely the sounds of words coming together. For instance, "A Carafe, That is a Blind Glass" represented the ones who caused the war and who are blind to others' differences. "The difference is spreading," she illustrates.

Poetry is not just something that anyone can write. It is real, personal, political, though-provoking, truth to some, and lies to many. It is how we allow our subconscious to rise to the surface. So, how could it not be political and personal in that same mind frame?

What is "the Wreck?"

Adrienne Rich's "Diving Into the Wreck" is clearly about the grand transformation in her life, but I'm going to go a step further and say it is about her having sexual encounters with another woman for the first time. The wreck is her "loss of virginity," per say. For example, the ladder represents the hanging temptation of what she wishes to discover. "There is a ladder. The ladder is always there hanging innocently close to the side of the schooner. We know what it is for, we who have used it. Otherwise it's a piece of maritime floss, some sundry equipment." (Rich 2627) Since poetry is subjective, it could also be taken as other personal transformations or perhaps a regular loss of virginity. "I go down. Rung after rung and still the oxygen immerses me the blue light the clear atoms of our human air. I go down. My flippers cripple me, I crawl like an insect down the ladder and there is no one to tell me when the ocean will begin." (Rich 2627) The downward motion represents the actual act of intercourse. Again, the ladder appears as she is in the process of going through her transformation. As we discussed in class, she is alone in this because she has been in a heterosexual marriage for so long, and does not know where this road will take her.

Do we have a choice?

For the Invisible Man, we had discussed whether or not we have the ability to make our own decision in our lives. Personally, I believe that we have a choice when we are gifted with opportunities. For instance, a princess of England has a lot of opportunities and responsibility, therefore, she has a lot of choices to make in her life. Whereas, a homeless person lacks any other choice but to beg in the street. People in desperate situations do not have many options to work with. So, at the end of the spectrum, people do not have choices. However, if we are presented with opportunities, we a choice on how to live our lives. It is all based upon our own situation. For me personally, I have plenty of choices to make: when to move out, when to get married, what clothes to wear everyday, to pursue my major or to change it, etc. Because I have the opportunities and responsibility to make decisions, I must do so in order to improve my life. However, many people are not in a fortunate situation, and so, do not have many routes to choose from.

Who Am I?

When we had this discussion in class, I thought of where I was from and my past and recent landscape, which were prevalent subjects in Big Sur.

This is what I wrote:
My name is Cassie Tarulli. I am a female. I was born in Carmichael, Cali and was raised in Sacramento. I am a non-denominational Christian because I believe in God, but not parts of the bible because of its ambiguity of translation. My career goal is to become an elementary school teacher and a writer. I have a big family, but I only want one child when I do get married. I love warm weather and absolutely detest cold or even cool weather. So, summer is my favorite season.

As some of my classmates explained, I believe that my home town shaped who I am by means of its landscape. I was born into and grew up with perfect warm weather for years, and this is why I am in love with it. My body never fully adapted to Ohio's weather because it refused to. As a physical example, my natural body temperature rests at 96.8 degrees F instead of the normal 98.6 degrees F.

Of course, every other factor is based off how I was raised and personal values, but landscape is a big part of my life. I do not like Ohio and I am always reverting back to vacationing in places with that perfect weather, such as Florida and the Bahamas. I also want to get married in that beautiful landscape because that is a part of who I am. So, when all is said and done, I really did leave a piece of me back in California.

Linda is the Foundation of a Disfunctional Family

I believe that Linda just makes the family's whole situation worse. In the scene in which Biff tells Willy he is going to see Bill Oliver and Willy keeps yelling at Linda, Biff finally stands up to his father. "Stop yelling at her!" he says furiously (Miller 2490). Then Linda has the nerve to accuse him of doing the wrong thing. "What'd you have to start that for?...Come up and say good night to him. Don't let him go to bed that way," she says (Miller 2490).

She is just making excuses for Willy at this point. Maybe if he actually took some responsibility for his actions, he would develop a conscious towards how he treats his family. There is no reason for him to act this way; a grown man needs to have some sort of cap on his emotions and how he expresses them. Linda just expects the whole family to tip-toe around Willy, which does not help in the least. He is creating a real problem, especially with Biff, that needs to be addressed and not brushed over. The problem is that Biff is really concerned about how Willy treats Linda, and it has been an issue ever since Biff caught Willy having an affair with another woman. "You gave her Mama's stockings!" (Miller 2517) young Biff shouts as he realizes what his father had done. We see that he is still traumatised by the change of perception he has for Willy. Presently, he says to Linda "Stop making excuses for him! He always, always wiped the floor with you. Never had an ounce of respect...What the hell do you know about it?" (Miller 2485). If she woudl have seen what was actually happening between Biff and Willy, she would not be so quick as to stand up for her husband instead of her son.

So, no, I do not agree with Happy when he says "What a woman! They broke the mold when they made her" (Miller 2490). In fact, he is speaking from a bias perspective because all the women he sees mean nothing to him, which is why he is content with Willy putting his wife "in place." Unlike Happy, Biff has respect for his mother as a person, not just as a surpressed woman of those times, and this is one of the many reasons why Biff is so outcasted among the family. He has seen the outside world and wants to be his own person, and the others cannot accept that because it is all they have ever known. And Linda is the biggest culprit of this. Rather than keeping the family together, she is forcing and crushing them to the point where they cannot function as a whole.

Invisible Man

In class, we discussed who Ralph Ellison was influenced by in "Invisible Man." Although it says in his introduction that he wished his story to be "read simply as a novel" and not taken as a "statement," I feel that his point of view subconsciously spilled out onto the pages. Readers can see this when the beginning of the text describes the "invisible man" accepting his transparency for the moment, suggesting a Booker-T.-Washington way of thinking. "...I am nobody but myself. But first I had to discover that I am an invisible man!" (Ellison 2430), he says. Conversely, the narrator is like Du Bois in the way he gives his speech in front of a menacing crowd and earns a scholarship. Towards the end, he seems to recognize the meaning of his grandfather's dying words; he respects his memory, but pursues on with school, although apprehensively. The author seems to have his protagonist quit his dream of being educated and ultimately decide that Booker T. Washington had the correct ideals for his race. He illustrates this by talking about his dream of his grandfather and the brief case: "It was a dream I was to remember and dream again for many years after. But at that time I had no insight into its meaning. First I had to attend college" (Ellison 2440). So, as he had gotten older, he realized that his grandfather was right to say they needed to stay at the level they were, in order to progress.

I admire Ralph Ellison for accidentally making a statement, although I do not necessarily agree with him. He was a seemingly modest person who felt so strongly about his oppression that one of his greatest novels became a discussion in which carried on for many years. In a way, it serves as an in-your-face towards all the people who ever told him he wasn't capable of doing something, and I greatly respect that. In a way, he did get a chance to finally fight back.

Goodbye..

This has been an awesome quarter! I have learned a lot. Although I'm a little late on posting this, I wanted to say good bye and good luck. I also wanted a chance to reflect on the class.

My favorite part of the quarter was our poem recitations as well as writing about them for our Unpack-a-Poem papers. The more time I spend on a poem, the more I can understand and enjoy it to the fullest extent. I love writing, especially when it is related to poetry. I feel like if I devote enough time to writing and reading about others' works, I will in turn advance in my own writing.

Well, everyone have a great spring break!

-Cassie

Vampire Diaries!

I have been obsessed with the show Vampire Diaries recently, which is also a book series. The series was published in the 1991, but I had never heard of the books until recently. I have never read them, but I would be very impressed if they were better than the television show! It would be interesting to find out. I like how it is very ambiguous as to who is the labeled "bad guy" in the show.

It is really good and I highly recommend the show! It's waaaaay better than Twilight! Best of all, girls and guys will like the show.

A Couple Poems I Wrote...

I have been writing poems for a while. It's a personal hobby of mine. I've actually managed to publish one of them, but that is as far as it's gotten. These are two that I wrote last year...

Questionable

Through the frozen leaves and grass
Pondering how long this will take to pass
Love is the initial precedent
Yet the world never seems to be content
Bias swells its own way
Sweeping secure bonds away
Lingering pains fill the souls
with all the stories dost untold

So tell me God, as I look above
Is there really such a thing as love?

..............................................................................
Thoughts Never Spoken


Strange as it is blunt
Battles conquered but never won
I stand blinded by our love
And as we struggle, I look above

As if the rich weren't wielded enough power
They're infinite in our darkest hour
Minds tremble with the urge of decency
While wondering if the world is meant to be

For us normal human beings...
Fate cannot be chosen over will
And yet love has its limits still

I break to you, and as I fall,
My open mind is not sealed at all.

Our past is gone, and now it seems
Merely the reminiscence of a memory

My Final Project

For my final project, I wanted to do something interesting, creative, and personal. Initially I thought of Professor Cassel's question "What is Literature?". Due to the very broad nature of the question, I had to think of different things that went hand-in-hand with it. That is when I immediately thought of music. Music is a passion of mine, just as poetry is, so I wanted to come up with something related to the literature we read in class and lyrics that had a kind of flow and rhyme to them. I thought this was brilliant to do for my final project because music, short-story writing, and poetry can all evoke the same extremity of emotions to their readers. I ended up focusing only on the play "Streetcar Named Desire" because we have read so many different writings that it would have been hard to narrow down a specific topic. Also, that play has various controversies and so many things going on that I knew I could find some lyrics to match the events.

I had a lot of fun with my "research." When I was looking through the songs I had on my mp3, I was surprised to find so many that was related to my topic of choice. Picking two of them was sort of a challenge actually. I also was baffled that the Kanye West song matched Stanley so perfectly, and to think, I used to like that song! I found significant things regarding both time periods, but mostly of all, I found deeper meanings to what kind of music I have been listening to. That barrier between men and women still exists, more so than I thought. It is sad to think that some of us haven't changed in that respect.

What does it mean to be human?

I have been thinking about this question a lot lately because it is the whole significance of literature in this course. I believe what separates us from animals is merely our overall view of the world as well as adaptation. While animals may rely on our planet for mere basics such as reproduction and food, humans need much more than that to survive. We need stability in our society, long-term relationships, money, houses set at the perfect temperature, and we need to feel as if we are worth something. If you really think about it, humans can die from a broken heart, from being out in the hot or the cold too long, or for no reason at all. We do not rely on ourselves to survive and we have lost any kind of animal-like instinct regarding survival. So, while we are more intelligent and expect to receive more from that intellect and to reach our maximum potential, I feel that animals can take better care of themselves and are stronger in the sense that they can adapt better to the changes and the harshness in their life. That is, humans acquire a better intelligence overall; however, animals are ultimately stronger and can handle the world in its pure state much more than we can.  

Excuse you?

In Babylon Revisited by F. Scott Fitzgerald, there is a passage that demonstrates just how sexist the 1930's generation was: when Charlie is asking Marion and Lincoln if his child can live with him. "'Do what you like!' she cried, springing up from her chair. 'She's your child. I'm not the person to stand in your way. I think if it were my child I'd rather see her-' She managed to check herself. "You two decide it. I can't stand this. I'm sick. I'm going to bed.' She hurried from the room...'This has been a hard day for her...' His voice was almost apologetic: "When a woman gets an idea in her head.' 'Of course.'" (pg. 2210) That line is so offensive and hurtful to me. How can Lincoln say that when he knows it is not just an "idea" she is sticking to. Marion feels strongly about her sisters death and to me, that is a very legitimate reason to hate a man--if you thought he was responsible for a loved one dying. She even mentioned she cannot stand in the way and that it was not her decision to make, which was a pretty mature thing to say. I admire her for having enough dignity to be the bigger person and walk away from something that she would like to fight for, because she feels as if it is the right thing to do. I disagree with her on that note; I think Charlie does not even deserve to have custody of his child anyway due to his alcoholism and mere recklessness. He was not fit for parenting then, and nothing has changed. Alcoholism is a sickness and an addiction that people cannot escape unless they stop drinking all together, which he clearly has not and is still drinking one-a-day. So, Marion is far from wrong in her reluctance to make Charlie a parental figure again. And furthermore, she is not just holding onto an "idea." She is actually using her mind a lot more than the men in this story are. 

Robert Frost as a Poet

I love Frost's poetry, all of them full of mystery with an underline of irony. I find some to have a precision of mockery, in a sense, of how people view their world, while others hold a fantastical outlook on life. An example of each of these instances is "Mending Wall" versus "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening." "Mending Wall" retains an implication that society is very much separated and we have this idea in our minds that "Good fences make good neighbors," when in actuality, we are only restricting the connections that we have with other people. "And set the wall between us once again. We keep the wall between us as we go." Then, as if making a transition into another thought, Frost writes "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening" and breaks away from reality. The carriage man in the text seems to want to go into the woods as a means to escape his duties of life, as he stops to admire his beautiful environment. Frost's simplicity leaves no limitation on the imagination that can be conjured in this poem, and this is one of the many elements I love about his work. Also, his poetry is diverse, each with its own flavor and feeling. I admire how he writes of other views as well, and incorporates them with his own, such as in the "Mending Wall." If I had to recommend a poet from this particular era, it would be Robert Frost due to his creativity and variation.

Dunbar...Suppressed?

In regards to the poem we read today, "We Wear the Mask" by Paul Laurence Dunbar, I could not help but place a connection between the suppressed African Americans in which he is referring to and other limited individuals of our time. There are people who are presently starving, homeless, and have no support and nowhere to go. I have to admit that I am angered by the fact that Dunbar would think he could identify with slaves and/or present people with these limitations because he was very successful, and although he had a difficult time achieving his goals, I feel that he was a lucky individual. To say that he was gravely suppressed is untrue because he definitely attained a successful career in writing. Although most of his poems are a telling of others stories, in "We Wear the Mask" he is saying that he is a part of that group and, therefore, limited himself. I do not believe this at all; everyone has their struggles in life, some just lack the opportunities others are privileged with. In this case, Dunbar was a very privileged individual.

Regarding our past couple required readings...

The stories about people being happy about their spouses dying and feeling as if they are now "free", as Theodore Dreiser describes it, proves to be very unsettling to me. What kind of people would say that about the supposed love of their life? To put it bluntly, these thoughts are ridiculous and inexcusable. Even if they are unhappy, it is their fault only for being so. In "Free" the protagonist does address this in the text by explaining his thoughts on the matter. "God, what a fool he had been!...having made a mistake it was his duty...to stick by it and make the best of it...", said Mr. Waymaker (page 19). He is majorly contradicting himself in this passage because he seems to blame it all on himself that he is stuck in this marriage, and yet, instead of "making the best of it" all of his thoughts towards his wife are negative. He is not "making the best of it" because if he were, he would have some sort of affection for her. At the very least, he would not want her to die. I think that he should be grateful for the children she bore him and the love she has for him. I also think that he is slightly in denial because he must have loved her if he proposed to her and wanted to marry her. If he had not, he would never have even started the process. However, people do tend to be out of touch with reality and make stupid mistakes when they have a great deal of freedom. He did talk about having a well-established position in an office building and having money. So, maybe he was as blind as he said he was. I just can't imagine not being happy with the one you have pledged your life to and the one you have had children with and have been intimate with. I do not understand how someone can go through all of those things and not feel anything. I have always had an appreciation and an adoration for couples who grew old together and had never been with anyone else. This is why these few stories have made me angry because it is not something I ever thought could be possible or, in my case, fathomable.

What is Literature?...

While it is a very in-depth question, it is definitely worth pondering and when certain people are inquired with it, various answers will come up depending on the person's culture, background, and personal morals. Personally, if I had to stamp a definition on literature, it would be described as the writings of established persons that possess some historical, personal, and/or poetic significance. However, literature is much greater than the technical definition. For many it is a passion, a career, a study; it is special and unique to its author. Many forms of literature such as poetry, short story, and novels are ways of this expression. These types of literature are my favorite to read and learn about because of the different perspectives and different imaginary worlds some people could not even fathom. Other literature, like textbooks, can be used for educational purposes, and while this is less personal, it is still as important as the escape we receive from reading books and stories.